urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida ananna ananna 2005-04-08T23:39:50Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:42092 2005-04-08T23:39:50Z 2005-04-08T23:39:50Z my love is like a redred rose that gently blooms in may...<br />but can i wait till then i ask and don't know what to say. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:41948 2004-03-07T13:19:55Z 2004-03-07T13:19:55Z I'm finding it incredibly difficult to deal with the world at the moment...I need something to get rid of this feeling that I can't breathe, that I can't escape.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:41578 2004-03-04T18:29:54Z 2004-03-04T18:29:54Z 4th of March 2004<br />04-03-04<br />Happy Birthday. It is the beginning of the birth of my first wisdom tooth. It's little head is popping out from the fleshy womb of gums...labour will undoubtedly be painful and long..but with a little bit of blood and some tears (no sweat i hope)...then comes the decision whether to abort or not. At what stage? It may disrupt it's whole enivornment, everything will have to accomodate it...shift up in the great rank of teeth..but what of the pain?<br /><br />It is a tactless un-p.c. metaphor to make.<br /><br />I'll terminate it now.<br /><br />oops.<br /><br />off to essaying I go, hihohiho. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:41253 2004-03-02T00:19:35Z 2004-03-02T00:19:35Z watched 'cut it' or something...with Meg Ryan in it..<br />very good. very scary...<br />i feel like wondering the hallways in my pyjamas now...but then i might be locked up or something. :s urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:41166 2004-02-29T18:44:42Z 2004-02-29T18:44:42Z where is home? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:40823 2004-02-29T18:44:29Z 2004-02-29T18:44:29Z back from glasgow...it's like stepping out of my life for a while and living the 87-year old's life for a bit...apart from the fact that I'm not living in constant pain, and I am able to walk...Perhaps that was a bit of a presumptuous thing to say.<br /><br />I NEEEED to do art again. I need it badly. (I think this is triggered by seeing Georgie's site) Does that mean I'm studying the wrong thing? No, I don't think so, cause there's nothing stopping me studying art later in my life..is there?<br />Going to go to a string concert tonight..Anna and Chiara are eating out, so maybe I'll see them later...<br />hmph..back to life..<br />and in 10 days..back home..odd..<br />very odd indeed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:40497 2004-02-22T20:40:45Z 2004-02-22T20:40:45Z i can see why people who are unemployed get depressed and start to feel worthless about themselves...working does more than just fulfill the need for money. For me it seems to anyway. <br />My noteworthy's for this last weekend:<br />-got a 70% on that sociology essay I started the night before-i think my tutor must have been on drugs or something odd. Egg-Dave is incredibly good at maths. Belfast is an interesting place-Ulster 'fry up' keeps the hunger at bay for hours. The only thing i regret is that I didn't go on a black taxi tour-but then again that saved me 8 pounds. We did get to see some of the divided parts of Belfast; saw some murals and spoke to a guy who really explained/told us about a lot of the history/the way it is now too. <br />i could just pass out right now though.<br />Worked a 7 hour shift at the Forrest Cafe today. It was nervewrecking, but fun. good fun; and the people seem like my kind of people. <br />I got back this morning and had 2 very good letters;<br />-I got 54% on my Maths test- one I was sure i would have failed-that means it's a C, no resits !!!!! woooooohhoooo.<br />-I got the job at Crossroads. good pay. flexible hours. 3 month trial period..so I'm all set. <br />want to sleep right now..<br />but I'm not sure if I'll get a phone call. I really want to get a phone call...but I guess it's too late now. <br />hmph. shame.<br />schlaf gut. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:40219 2004-02-03T13:42:18Z 2004-02-03T13:42:18Z got a 60% on my Politics essay. It's going down hill :-( agh. <br />Grades so far: 67, 65, 67, 68, 60 ....at least there's some continuity there. Sociology will be pretty shit as it was a 12-hours-straight essay. MTE will be pretty shit-i.e. a fail me thinks..Got a lecture in 20 minutes..and am about to fall asleep over 'sociology of religion'. blurgh. <br />Might go to a debate on the Euro later today....thought Hans Blix was coming to give a talk too, but can't remember when. I need to do far more reading...less movies and sangria...and fun..aww.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:40021 2004-02-02T13:08:33Z 2004-02-02T13:08:33Z is it a wisdom tooth or just a sore bump? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:39787 2004-02-02T13:08:14Z 2004-02-02T13:08:14Z It's doooonnennennenennen!!!<br />This is the first essay I've started the night before (in uni...at least). So I'll see how it turns out. 50% would be o.k. I suppose, but I'm kindof hoping for more. stupid stupid postmodernism..grrr..<br />At least it's over and I can now finally take a shower, put on some clothes and go hand it in. phew. <br />Done with postmodernism in the city..for...ever? Probably not. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:39566 2004-02-01T23:07:39Z 2004-02-01T23:07:39Z If i had a soundtrack to my life at this point it would be Mazzy Star's 'Among my Swan', every song at the moment gives me that feeling of, ironically maybe, dischord I get when I feel as though my brain waves and the song are on the same frequency. It literally gives me a achey feeling in my heart/stomach area. Musical heartburn. <br /><br />I'm no longer stressed- my vision is not jumping around anymore like it did two hours ago. A combination of factors I presume; extreme fatigue, the cold chocolate Austrian Anna made me (it wasn't a cold chocolate Austrian that she made me, she is Austrian). And the knowledge that I will only get penalised 2% per day it's late...and the fact that I actually started writing, finally. <br /><br />My belly is growing huge. Maybe I have kwashiorkor. Hmm...no i think it's a different kind of malnutrition; more a product of anti-poverty. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:39208 2004-01-22T10:37:05Z 2004-01-22T10:37:05Z i don't wannnnnaa go to school. <br /><br />(16 years of education......couldn't it all be done a little more efficiently?) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:38926 2004-01-22T10:08:30Z 2004-01-22T10:08:30Z godvergodverdomme,<br />I don't want to do this exam...but when it's all over, then it's weekend :-D :-D :-D then all that's left is an essay in a week's time and then there's Forbes coming, going to Glasgow again, going to Belfast...then it's almost holiday already...<br />Is it a bad sign that I need these things to look forward to-is my daily life not good enough? maybe it's not right now...hmm, but I'm satisfied.<br />Days go so fast sometimes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:38877 2004-01-21T14:43:30Z 2004-01-21T14:43:30Z aghhhh i can't get onto webct<br />so I can't get the answers for my Maths past exam papers.<br />This reminds me too much of a year ago....but this time I don't really care...I just need to pass Maths...and even if I don't I can redo it in the summer.<br />But it'd be good to get at least a little bit of studying done :-s<br />Got my essay extension-means I can spend the weekend having a good time instead..and registered at Old College for exams, and bought a sweater, trousers and a hard-back Statists textbook all for 8 pounds, and and and, got some job application forms.<br />phew.<br />time to go see if webct works urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:38501 2004-01-11T23:23:11Z 2004-01-11T23:23:11Z Why are humans first and foremost selfish animals. There is nowhere where it is so apparant as it is in relationships. Iknow we're not all selfish...sure we're not, but it seems the only altruistic behaviour is that shown to one's child. Even that is not truly altruistic-as it's your blood relative-you want the best for YOUR genes. <br />agh. let's not be cynical. actually, yes, let's. <br />i think my head is going to explode with stress...it's already sunday and i have too much to do; what would happen if I burnt out? nahhhh it won't happen..<br />'it wears me out..and if i could be who you wanted...if i could be who you wanted..all the time....all the time...lallallalalla' urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:38292 2004-01-07T11:53:20Z 2004-01-07T11:53:20Z This is what I do when I'm meant to be doing thousands of other things...<br />"all around me are familiar faces,worn out places, worn out faces, bright and early for the daily races, going nowhere, going no where<br />there tears are fililng up their glassses, no expression, no expression. <br />hide my head i wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow<br />and i find it kindof funny i find it kinda sad the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had<br />i find it hard to tell you i find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very<br />mad world, mad world<br />children waiting for the day they feel good, happy birthday hapy birthday<br />and i feel the way every child should, sit and listen sit and listen<br />went to school and i was very nervous no one new me, no one new me<br />hello teacher tell me what's my lesson. look right through me look right through me<br />and i find it kindof funny i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had<br />i find it hard to tell you i find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very<br />mad world, mad world"<br />That was the Christmas number 1.<br />....but it's a sad song. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:38133 2003-12-15T00:02:44Z 2003-12-15T00:02:44Z FUCK THIS FUCK THIS FUCK THIS.<br /><br />FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.<br /><br />I'm going to fucking tear down everything in a minute. Metaphorically speaking, literally speaking, fuckingly speaking. <br />As far as these things go I can't work in code..Raw emotions don't do well laced in metaphors and rhyme.<br /><br />Maybe I'm too basic..but FUCK THIS does it for me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:37675 2003-12-10T01:24:20Z 2003-12-10T01:24:20Z spent ?20 pounds too much on dinner today...that means 'tis the last time this week that I'm spending that amount of geld..I can't take any money out of the bank anymore either...except for money not spent on myself..<br />tijd voor bed urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:37430 2003-12-09T04:52:44Z 2003-12-09T04:52:44Z it's 04.50 a.m.<br />so this is the student life...right?<br />fuck.<br />It's harder than I thought. Here's me thinking I would suddenly become worldly and educated...and I feel like a bum...I'm going to try to do the work for my tutorial before 9.a.m. tomorrow<br />holy cow. holy beef. it's not going to work. <br />i just want to sleep...for a long long time..and then see if everything is better in the morning.<br />sigh.sigh sigh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:37215 2003-12-03T00:20:59Z 2003-12-03T00:20:59Z I've had a good evening; stayed in, did some work, talked to some people, listened to more mozart, took a shower, dried my hair, put cream on my face lotion on my legs, tidied my room..and now I feel better.<br />Why are those kinds of so much importance to how we feel? Odd that.<br />As soon as my essay is done I'll go out more, spend more money...etc..I have tomorrow and thursday to work on it and then it's got to be done. Then Ernst comes, we go to visit granny, I'll take him to the castle, to Portobello, to Princes street, to have a deep fried marsbar, to have some real ale in a pub..ah it shall be nice (as long as I finish my essay..grr...)<br />Tis time for bed; I will try and write an important email and then I'll go into my newly-freshly-sheeted bed in my cleared up little room. Aah, i think I'll miss it over Christmas.<br />schlaf gut urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:36881 2003-11-28T00:36:49Z 2003-11-28T00:36:49Z Do people with fucked up childhoods gravitate towards eachother?<br />Maybe. <br />Maybe when I'm 90 I'll write the definitive guide to life. I don't know how many times I've begged for someone to write a 'book of rules for making big decisions'...Maybe that's what religion is for. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:36616 2003-11-21T02:17:07Z 2003-11-21T02:17:07Z mozart. For about the last 5 hours. My day;<br />0800: wake up<br />0820 breakfast<br />0840 hop on the bike<br />0900 economics<br />1000 economics class<br />1100 go to undergrad office to ask for letter for nuffic<br />1120 library pick up books<br />1130 get home, read books somewhat write essay<br />13.40 bike to george square.<br />13.45 return books<br />1400 sociology lecture<br />1500 politics lecture<br />1600 library<br />1902 get books out of library for the night<br />1905 bike home<br />1915 have dinner<br />2000 talk on the phone to chiara<br />2100 talk to anna a bit<br />2200 try to write essay, start essay, various interruptions<br />2330 John comes to play stick figure death on computer and play obscene games with my bear Joe.<br />2400 Inge calls<br />2430 get off phone with inge<br />2430-0200 write more on essay<br />0216 write livejournal go shower and try and wind down urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:36447 2003-11-13T22:03:15Z 2003-11-13T22:03:15Z Fake Plastic Trees <br />A green plastic watering can <br />For a fake chinese rubber plant<br />In the fake plastic earth <br /><br />That she bought from a rubber man<br />In a town full of rubber plans<br />To get rid of itself<br /><br />It wears her out, it wears her out<br />It wears her out, it wears her out <br /><br />She lives with a broken man <br />A cracked polystyrene man<br />Who just crumbles and burns <br /><br />He used to do surgery <br />On girls in the eighties <br />But gravity always wins <br /><br />And it wears him out, it wears him out<br />It wears him out, it wears him out<br /><br />She looks like the real thing<br />She tastes like the real thing<br />My fake plastic love<br /><br />But I can't help the feeling <br />I could blow through the ceiling<br />If I just turn and run <br /><br />And it wears me out, it wears me out<br />It wears me out, it wears me out <br /><br />And if I could be who you wanted<br />If I could be who you wanted <br />All the time, all the time urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:36269 2003-11-09T01:46:02Z 2003-11-09T01:46:02Z Tis late again, and I know no more about the E.U. and the U.K.'s role therein, than I did 3 hours ago..hmph.<br />I want to go to the gym tomorrow. I never end up making it to the gym, that better not become a regular thing..<br />Once I get a bike, It'll all be so much easier. A bike and a helmet. <br />aiaiaia..time for bed finally.<br />That image of the eye is not really what I want on my livejournal thing..i must change it.<br />bed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:achrida:36013 2003-11-08T23:25:01Z 2003-11-08T23:25:01Z How many times must the cannonballs fly, before they are forever banned.<br />The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.<br /><br />Or conversely, according to Mitrany (1888-1974) one could just set up large international organisations like IMF, the WHO, EU..etc..and strive for world peace by a combination functionalism and federalism...bla..bla..<br />Nationalism is the root of all wars..etc..<br />RIGHT: what about scarcity of resources?